


NOT a sex dream

by Stilienski



Series: Sterek ficlets [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dreams, I suck at tags, Lydia is a genius can we all please appreciate her thank you, Oblivious Stiles, Pining, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4400846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stilienski/pseuds/Stilienski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles had a nightmare, no Lydia it wasn't a sex dream, it was the <i>worst</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	NOT a sex dream

**Author's Note:**

> Yes [Lonaargh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonaargh/pseuds/Lonaargh) I'm also holding you partially responsible for this one. 
> 
> Thanks for the prompt (He had a face that was a cross between a puppy and a baby seal) :D

“No, no, Lydia, you don’t understand!” He stood up to follow her and grabbed his backpack in one “fluid” motion.

“Stiles, I know you think you’re being cute or worthy of my attention or whatever, but I don’t need to hear about your wet dreams!” She huffed and just kept walking…. _Rude!_

“It was a nightmare! Why would _that_ be a wet dream? Granted, his body was okay…. Maybe more than okay…. Fine his body was gorgeous, but still. Lydia, he had a face that was a cross between a puppy and a baby seal. Literally. _Literally a cross between a puppy and a baby seal._ I am not trying to poetically describe that his face looked cute. There was a hybrid animal face on a human body and said human body was trying to get part of that human body inside of my human body! It was not a wet dream it was a nightmare!” She was his best friend, if she didn’t understand then who would?

“One, there was going to be fucking. Two, you said his body was gorgeous. Three, I know from your blushing that you at least woke up hard, if not with spunk all over yourself. It was a wet dream, Stiles, people sometimes have weird sex dreams, get over it.” He squinted his eyes at her as he tried to keep up. _How could she walk so fast in high heels?_

“Lydia, I woke up feeling violated, this was no-“

“Yeah, I’m over this part of the conversation, what did his body look like?” For the first time in his entire freak out during their lunch break she actually seemed interested. Again… _ru-ude!_

“Nope. You just basically victim blamed me, to hell if I am going to te-“

“For fuck’s sake, you weren’t raped! Now are you going to tell me the interesting bit or not?”

“You just told me you didn’t want to hear about my wet dreams!”

“Oh see, finally you’re admitting it.” He let his mouth fall open in shock, she did not just go there! “I just want to know who you dreamed about.”

“No one! Unless you know someone with an animal head!” And yes, for your information, he was deeply regretting ever starting this conversation.

“Well, we know a couple of people who can shift into animals, and we all know one person who’s brain is weird enough to translate werewolves into whatever it was you dreamed about.”

“Oh my god… Oh my god…. Lydia, I hate you.” Not because she was wrong, oh no… why did that stupid strawberry blond genius always have to be so freaking right! The triskele tattoo… how had he not remembered that pretty essential part of the dream?

“I bet he’d think you look cute when you blush. Just ask him out, Stiles, what’s the worst that could happen?”  

“Oh I don’t know, he’ll ignore me for the next 12 years and make me feel invisible every time we cross each other on the street. He won’t actually have a decent conversation with me for the next 13 years and 7 months even though we have mutual friends and eat at least one meal together almost every day. And oh yes, he won’t stand to be in the same room as me for about 14 years when he’ll suddenly call me up and order me to come and type out an essay because he just got a manicure. Because I’ve been through that before, quite recently actually, and it sucks!” He gave her a pointed glare and Lydia finally had the decency to look a little bit apologetic.

“It’s not the same, because he actually likes you back.” Again, _ru-ud-…_ wait what?

 

_Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Why the hell did I let her talk me into this? It’s stupid! It’s the worst plan I’ve ever had and yes I am counting that one time where we went to Mexico to save Derek and didn’t even think to bring a change of clothes! This plan sucks! It’s not a plan, it’s barely even a pla. And oh my god, why did I knock on his door in the first place? No one ever knocks here! Why am I still waiting till he opens it? Wait…. Maybe he’s not home…. Oh thank god! He’s probably not home!_

He turned around on his heels and headed back to the stairs planning on going home  and forget this plan – _nope, it’s not worthy of the name plan, I have to stop calling it a plan –_ this idea had ever even entered his head.

“Stiles? I was just taking a shower, why didn’t you come in? Door is open, it always is….” _Oh god… if that towel slips a little lower there is bound to be some pubic hair on show…. Or not…._  He didn’t know which one was the best scenario.

“Right… erm… why didn’t I come in? Good… that’s a good, good question, Derek, buddy, dude… derek-buddy? I was just here to… you know…. Talk to you. Because that’s… a thing we totally do… sometimes… when we’re disagreeing with one of Scott’s weird plans.” _Oh this is just going great!_

“Stiles are you alright? Did you take drugs?”

“Did I take-… no… but in hindsight I probably should have. Also, can’t you smell that? With your puppy snout?” Derek’s eyebrows, impressive eyebrows, shot up in either confusion, frustration or offense…. Neither of those options was a good one.

“Not that you have a puppy snout, you obviously don’t, your face is completely normal… nice nose you have. Good eyebrows too, and the scruff really works on… your perfectly human-looking face. What I’m trying to say is you don’t look like a cross between a puppy and a baby seal, which is a lot creepier than you may think.”

“Maybe it’s a good idea to try to get to the point, Stiles, because this is not really going anywhere… at least I hope you’re not trying to get anywhere with that.”

“Ha! I was actually hoping to get into your pants with that… oh my god… not into your pants, you’re not even wearing any pants right now… I just. Ugh! Forget it. I had a very weird dream about a very creepy but hot guy who, after thorough psycho analysis by Lydia, turned out to be you and she forced me to come here and ask you out. Which obviously failed miserably. So let me just go now so we can get the 12 years of ignoring Stiles out of the way.”

“Sure, I’ll go out with you… I just had dinner though. Let me get dressed and we can go for some milkshakes.”

Stiles’ jaw dropped and he stared as the towel-clad body of a god walked further back into the loft to get dressed. Get dressed, wasn’t that just the saddest thing…

And as he waited for Derek to come back _to go out with him_ , he texted Lydia.

**This was the best plan ever!**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Hope I didn't waste your time......


End file.
